On Despair

I am trying to get right back into posting, though I did have a few delays this morning, such as my computer needing to be restarted. Apparently my laptop does not like being left alone, suspended for a week or so.

Like so many of my other Lectio Divina posts, this one comes from the Prologue from Ohrid. And it covers a topic that I struggle with quite a lot.

Saint Seraphim of Sarov writes about despair: "Just as the Lord is concerned about our salvation, so does the devil, the slayer of men, concern himself about bringing the soul of man to despair. Judas the betrayer was faint-hearted and inexperienced in struggle, which is why the devil, seeing him in a state of despair, attacked and persuaded him to hang himself. Peter, the formidable rock, falling into great sin and experienced in struggle, did not despair and did not lose the presence of the spirit, rather he shed bitter tears from a warm heart and, seeing that, the devil fled from him as though burned by fire. Thus, brethren, the Venerable Antiochus teaches that when despair befalls us, we should not succumb to it but, strengthened and enveloped by Holy Faith, say with great bravery to the cunning spirit [the devil]: 'what have you to do with us, O apostate from God, fugitive from heaven and a slave of evil! You are unable to inspire us to do anything; for Christ, the Son of God, has authority over us and over all. And you, O murderer, depart from us! Strengthened by His Honorable Cross, we trample upon your serpent's head.' " The Prologue from Ohrid, February 8

Satan, the devil, wants us to fail. He will use our insecurities and our inexperience against us. The deceiver wants us to always think negative thoughts about ourselves and others; he wants us to doubt ourselves and to doubt others.

If someone does something nice for us the must have an ulterior motive for doing so - maybe so we can owe them a favor later on, or maybe for some nefarious reason. And we don't feel like we deserve such things - because we are pitiful, or maybe we act entitled thinking we deserve such things because of the way the world has treated us.

We fail to see the larger picture - that we are not the center of the universe. Or maybe we recognize that too much and think that nothing that we do matters.

The devil feeds on our weaknesses. From one extreme we may destroy our fellow man. From the other extreme we may destroy ourselves. The devil wants us to despair, he wants to use our insecurities to destroy our souls. And make no mistake - our insecurities can make us feel entitled and superior just as they can make us feel pitiful.

In our despair we can make other feel like scum in an attempt to make ourselves feel better. We mock and deride those less fortunate - or who believe differently - because we feel insecure in our own lives.

In our despair we can treat ourselves like scum because we don't feel like we are worthy of any good. We see ourselves and those around us as bleak.

The way out of both is through prayer. Not just one prayer, because God is not a genie who just grants our wishes. But through constant prayer.

Pray for yourself. Pray for others. Pray that God and His saints will help to protect you from the devil's attacks. Pray that God and His saints will help others in their loves.

Pray every day. Pray every chance you get. Pray when you are alone. And pray with other as often as you are able.

Remember that the Church is a hospital for sinners. So go to church and partake of the outpouring of God's grace through the sacraments.

Most importantly, remember that God is the Lord of all! He has authority over everyone and everything. Cry out unto Him! Remind yourself, and the devil, that God is the Lord of all, especially when you feel despair.

The devil tries to make this hard for us by sometimes sneaking thoughts - little by little - until our minds take over and we do all of the work to fall into despair. For this reason, we should pray every day. Whether we feel healthy and good, or if we feel depressed and sick, we should pray every single day.

Set reminders if you have to. Get in a habit of praying when you wake up and when you go to sleep. Pray whilst making breakfast and going to work. Build up your prayer life and you will have a foundation of stone and your life will not be so easily toppled.