My wounds are foul and festering because of my foolishness (Psalm 38:5).
The prophet speaks of the wounds of sins that he himself committed, and from which he sensed in himself the stench of sin. As much as this acknowledgment reveals the impurity of previous sins, so is the subsequent purity of the repentant one also shown. For as long as man follows the corrupt path of sin, he does not sense its suffocating stench; but when he withdraws from this path and sets off on the pure path of righteousness, he senses the inexpressible difference between purity and impurity, between the path of virtue and the path of vice. Imagine a man who has spent the night in a stinking tavern and finds himself in a garden of roses the next morning. In the former there was stench, poison, debasement of soul and body, anger, discord, and the tormenting of himself and others. In the latter is God's great sun overhead, beautiful flowers everywhere, fresh air, wondrous fragrance, serenity and health. Imagine this, and understand that there is an even greater difference between the path of sin and the path of God. My wounds are foul and festering. Thus the great king describes the fruits of his sinful past. Nothing is as foul as sin, nothing festers as much and nothing spreads as much as sin. The stench of bodily wounds suggests, in only a small way, the unbearable stench of a sinful soul. That is why every holy thing distances itself from such a soul. The pure heavenly spirits hide from such a one, and the impure spirits of hades seek its company. Every new sin is a fresh wound on the soul; every sin is corruption and stench. How does sin arise? From my foolishness explains the prophet. A mind derailed from its divine track leads man to sin. Until the mind is cleansed, man cannot be cleansed. But we have the mind of Christ (I Corinthians 2:16), says the Apostle. In other words, we have a mind put back on track, as was Adam's mind before the sinful stench. Hence brethren, all Orthodox teaching on asceticism concentrates on one main point: on the mind of man; on the cleansing and correcting of the mind.
O Lord Jesus Christ, Purity and eternal Source of purity, help us to reject our foolishness; help us to reason according to Thy mind.
With prayers in thanksgiving for God's mercy in calling us forth from the dead church to which we once belonged on the Feast of Lazarus,the-four-days-dead
To Thee be glory and praise forever. Amen. (Prologue from Ohrid, October 17th)
Every sin is a fresh wound added to our souls, a stench, a corruption. Through our foolishness we are prone to sin.
By our foolishness, we may not think that our souls are being corrupted. We may have fooled ourselves into believing that seeking our own fleshly pleasures is what this life is all about, and that we are better people for it. We are fun, we are exciting, we are living in the moment! Carpe diem! Let us seize the day because, YOLO! You only live once, so why not go out and do all of the things which bring us pleasure?
We have deluded ourselves. We have been foolish.
For Christians, we should realize that we have a second life waiting for us. It is appointed that man should die once, and after that the judgement (Hebrews 9:27). We only die once, and then we are judged.
But many of us do not realize that we have harmed ourselves. We have wounded our souls. We have corrupted our souls and are bling to what we have done. "It's just a small sin," we might say, or, "Jesus will forgive me." But while we go and do whatever it is, we are putting a foul stench on our souls. We are wounding ourselves further. We are corrupting our souls.
Sin has a way of making us blind. Sin has a way of making us to be as happy as pigs in slop. Sin has a way of making us accept that it is OK to live in trash.
I don't want to say to look around at this world and see the trash heaps that are everywhere because of all of the sin, because I prefer to focus on what is holy (though I often fail). But, when we do look around at the current goings on in this world, it is so very easy to see to corruption, the stench.
All of the people out there seizing the day, doing what is pleasurable, do they not see that the reason our world looks so bleak and terrible is because of the others out there doing what is pleasurable to them?
Living in Alaska, and here in New Mexico, I have seen such a huge homeless population. I have noticed the homeless more here in New Mexico because their signs are around every where every time I step out of my door to take a walk.
What causes these people to be homeless? And please do not think that I am blaming them.
But many are homeless because of greed. Greed from companies who are only concerned about making money over caring for their employees. The higher ups care more about lining their pockets and homes with riches than they do about their fellow man.
Many are homeless, indeed through their own fault. Drinking, gambling, drug addiction. These things eat away at finances, and can cause people to lose their jobs, their cars, and their homes. Unfortunately, I have seen a lot of evidence of drug use on my walks, and it saddens my soul.
Outside of homelessness, we have the destruction of our families, the destruction of our forests, the destruction of land in general. We have wars, we have petty political dealings. These things are caused (IMO) by this narcissistic tendency to go out and do whatever is pleasurable. These things are caused by sin.
We see the evidence of this in every country. Politicians and corporations who have sought whatever makes them feel good have left their mark on this world.
But, to not be too depressing, there is a lot of beauty in this world. I am reminded of this when I step out of my door and see the Sangre de Cristo mountains. I am reminded when I see the trees and the foliage. I am reminded when I step outside to smoke my pipe and doing my Lectio Divina and see the sunrise, or when I go for an evening walk and see the sunset. I am reminded when I see someone helping the homeless, or just helping their fellow man.
Witnessing these things help me to put my mind back on track, as it were. These things help to to reflect on myself and see that the sin I do in my foolishness is causing me real harm. And yes, I sin. I sin a whole lot every single day. I am far from perfect.
Maybe they are "little" sins. Maybe they are "major" sins. It does not matter, sin is sin, and every sin is a wound to my soul.
I really do struggle to have a mind like Christ. I really do struggle to keep my mind on what is holy. I think we all do - some more than others, I'm sure.
I do think that it is OK to seek and do some things that are pleasurable - but not to the point that they become idols in our lives. We need not to give ourselves over to theses pleasures so that they rule our lives, and indeed there are certain things that we should just not even do - even in moderation.
But we need to focus on what is holy, and what is good. And I don't mean "good to us at the time," but what is really good. What is good for our souls. What is good for us and our fellow man. What is good for our planet.
We need to stop being foolish, and realize that when we sin we are making trash heaps of our souls - turning them into Gehenna.
Please pray for me, a sinner.
No comments:
Post a Comment