My First Visit to Ladyminster

As many of you who follow my life on Facebook, and have read this blog before may know, I have been an Oblate of Saint Benedict for a number of years now. One of the privileges afforded to Oblates is that we may visit the monastery we are attached to. I have been trying to visit my monastery for at least as long as I have been a novice Oblate, and this year I was finally able to go.

 

A view of Ladyminster

 

The first thing I want to point out is that Ladyminster - or more formally known as The Monastery of Our Lady and Saint Laurence - is a Benedictine monastery under the Antiochian Western Rite Vicariate. What that means is the monastics at Ladyminster follow the Rule of Saint Benedict. St. Benedict wrote his Rule in around AD516 - well before the schism that separated the Eastern and Western Church. 

The Antiochian Western Rite Vicariate was started in AD1958 to cater to Orthodox parishes that were already using an approved Western Rite liturgy.

Since this particular blog post isn't about the Western Rite itself, I'll save the history lesson for if/when I do a blog post on that topic - most likely with the help of a dear friend of mine who spent five years in seminary and knows a ton of stuff about the WR. And by help, I mean that I will ask him many questions until he blocks me on social media.

Before my visit to Ladyminster my exposure to anything Western Rite was very minimal. The most I was familiar with is the Compline service that we Oblates do during our weekly conference calls. I did attend a Lutheran parish in California when I was younger, but I don't recall much because I found it boring and my mother constantly told me that I shouldn't try to be too Lutheran as they were just closet Roman Catholics. I also attended an Episcopalian parish in Florida with my father, but I don't recall any particulars because I was more concerned with being able to drink real wine during communion.

So my exposure to Orthodox Western Rite was almost nil.

My friend, who has spent the last year as an intern at Ladyminster, came down to pick me up. We arrived at the monastery Monday evening just in time for Vespers. I quickly had no idea as to what was going on aside from the Psalms being read. I sat quietly and listened, and I was entranced.

Much like my first exposure to the Byzantine Rite almost 12 years ago, I was very quickly pulled in to the service. The way the monastics chanted in the Gregorian style was simply beautiful. I had heard Gregorian Chanting back in the 90s when that was suddenly big, and I also liked it. I've heard snippets from movies (Monty Python always comes to mind) and TV shows throughout my life, and I have always found it to be beautiful. But hearing it live for the first time that I can remember, with the music echoing in the oratory, was miles ahead of listening to a CD.

After Vespers, I briefly met with the Abbot and a few of the other monastics there. Then I settled into my bunk and met another Oblate who had arrived early for the annual retreat. 

Meeting the Abbot was like meeting an old friend that I had not seen in years. Of course, I had never actually met him, but we did talk many times via phone or email. But the way I was greeted made me feel almost like the Prodigal Son returning home. Returning home to a place I had never been. Returning to a father I had never physically met. Returning to a family that I had longed to meet.

I'm not going to go through a day-by-day of events and my thoughts and feelings - those can be found in my personal journal if any dare to try to come take it from me and read it. But I am going to try to explore my overall feelings from my almost week at a monastery.

The next morning, around 0530, was the first service of the day, Lauds, immediately followed by the Liturgy. Having gotten back into the habit of waking up "early" around 0545-0600 it wasn't that much of a hardship to get up for Lauds. As I stated, Liturgy immediately followed Lauds. Ladyminster typically uses the Liturgy of Saint Gregory, and from what think I learned - it is usually a low mass.

A picture during Mass

 

Apparently there are three levels of Mass: low, sung, and high. We did have some sung masses whilst I was at the monastery.

And again, much like how I fell in love with Orthodoxy after my first Orthros and Divine Liturgy at a Greek parish, I was in love with the Western Rite. I don't know if it was just the acoustics of the oratory, or the way the monks chanted, or both combined, but I was absolutely in love.

The service is just beautiful. It is just... Divine.

And I don't think that I could fairly compare the Liturgy of St. Gregory to that of the Liturgy of St. John - both are equally beautiful. Both are equally Orthodox. I am no liturgist, but in this humble layman's opinion both are just sublime experiences that are truly equal.

The Bishop JOHN+ of Worcester - the Vicar Bishop of the Western Rite -  arrived during the week to attend the final profession of one of the monks. Meeting him was quite wonderful - he was very relaxed and laid back when meeting him. I was able to talk to him about everything and nothing for some time. I also met Fr. David McReady - a nice Irish priest who is fond of wearing cowboy boots, as well as Fr. Lester Bundy. I believe both priests serve at a Western Rite parish in Colorado with Fr. David being the "new, younger" priest. Shout out to Team David.

A better caption exists on Facebook. Also, you can barely see Bishop JOHN+ on the left side of the icon of Saint Benedict.

 

The way the monastics took their meals was also an interesting experience. Dinner - which is Lunch, a term many in the South Eastern United States should be familiar with - is "formal" meaning that the meal is taken in silence. So there I am, eating a wonderfully cooked meal, and I'm just contemplating.

I was contemplating the taste of the food. I was contemplating the meaning of life, and why 42 was a perfectly profound philosophical answer to that question. I was contemplating my time at the monastery.

But not every meal was a formal affair, as we were able to sit and talk during supper and some lunches. The picture above was taken during one such informal meal.

The view as one steps into the oratory

 

The chapel, or oratory, was also a thing of beauty. I've seen some parishes that barely have any icons, and they look like what you'd expect a post Vatican II Roman parish, or an Anglican parish to look like. But, while small and obviously not set up to be a parish, the monastery oratory perfectly fits the needs of the monks and nun, as well as the occasional visitor. 

I mentioned the acoustics before, and they are truly wonderful. The pews, too, are a thing of beauty, and almost a source of hilarity after they've been rubbed down with Pledge. I had been asked by the Abbot to assist one of the monks to clean the oratory and I was tasked with wiping all wooden surfaces down with Pledge furniture cleaner/polish - at the next service a few of us almost slipped out of the pews. I apologize for nothing. 

The grounds themselves are also beautiful as a creek runs through the property, and rocky hills rise up on either side of the buildings.

 

La Pieta hanging out in a tree.

My brother and our dog.

 

The area seemed like a meshing of Alaska and New Mexico and was just stunning to walk through.

My time at Ladyminster was very relaxing, and I think the structure of the monastic life did me a lot of good, as well as attending the services throughout the day. I have been wanting to spend some time at a monastery since my second deployment, but somehow something has always cropped up at the last moment to prevent that. I was determined that this year I would go, even if I had to walk to get there.

Also, as I mentioned above, there was the annual Oblate retreat. I was a little early as my ride - the intern - could only get away on a weekend to drive me up. So Friday, some of the Oblates started to arrive, and I was able to meet my brothers and sisters whom I have only been able to converse with either through email or our conference calls.

I did not take this picture, as I was in the picture, but I do apologize for the beam of sunlight as the picture was taken with my phone.

Definitely great people the lot of them.

 And of course, no visit to any place is complete if I don't rock the kilt! Also, of course I received a blessing from the Abbot to wear my kilt on the Feast of the Dormition of the Theotokos as is my tradition to do with all of the Great Feasts of the Orthodox Church.

Before Liturgy, ever so slightly dressy.

Myself and Fr. Joseph Marie, I'm not quite as dressed up as I'm about to hop in the car and travel.

Abbot Theodore and myself.

As I mentioned, at least in a caption for a picture, my brother was also there. He came up Saturday evening in time for Vespers. He also enjoyed his very limited time there and is looking forward to going back.

My brother and the Abbot

The Abbot was very gracious in allowing my brother to come up with our dog overnight. Apparently there had been a family that stayed at the monastery before that had a dog and they weren't very good about cleaning the dog's messes and other things. 

Our dog, Scooby, was an adoption. He was very nervous around other people and animals when we got him, so much so that he would bark and lunge at people across the street on walks. It made sense, he is about a year and some change old - all of his life he only knew COVID lockdown (FB and other social medias will now tag this as mentioning COVID and throw up that little warning) and he didn't get to socialize. After months of training he is much better behaved - we've been able to take him on walks through the neighborhood, the arroyos, and even on hikes up mountains. I was a little nervous about how he would act in such a new environment, but he did wonderful.

Yeah, we look good. I can say that because I had a few monks tell me that, so it's not being prideful.

 

Unfortunately, my time at the monastery came to an end all too soon. I don't think that I can accurately state in either the written word, or verbally, just how much I loved being at Ladyminster. Truly, to use parlance many of my Evangelical friends will understand, this monastery is Spirit filled. From the moment that I drove through the gate onto monastery grounds, until the moment I left I could tell that this was truly a holy place. As Fr. Joseph Marie told me when I mentioned how well behaved Scooby was being, "He's an animal, the animals know."

The peace and relaxation that I felt during my stay is what I've been longing for since my second deployment. I was wanting, and needing, something to help me decompress from my building depression and just dealing with the military in general. I needed an escape from my anxiety. And of course, with everything that has happened over the years since my second deployment, I think I needed this break more than anything. To me, this visit was more than just meeting a few people that I'm somehow attached to. This visit was about letting go of some hurt, some anxiety, and some depression. This visit was about a way for me to just reset and heal a little. I definitely think that this visit is a mission accomplished.

One last photo.

These things on my wrist are 1) a prayer rope given to me by a dear friend in Alaska, 2) a commemoration bracelet for a dear friend who is no longer with us, and 3) a rosary that has many little medals of St. Benedict throughout.

I want to focus on 2. The bracelet. SGT John Toombs was one of my best friends. I'm not going to go into the specifics on how our relationship formed and the many zany antics we got up to, most of which probably would have gotten us kicked out of the military if they knew about it - a few that did almost get us kicked out of the military. I'm also not going to go into the specifics of what John went through during and after our deployment.I will state that John was the closest thing to a brother to me outside of my own brothers.

John had a lot of issues, and he was seeking help from the local VA. He was basically betrayed by the VA, and he killed himself a few years back around Thanksgiving. I think that if John had still been alive and was able to go to Ladyminster that he might have found a semblance of the peace that he was looking for.

John, to the best of my knowledge, was not a Christian. If he was he was nominal. We had many talks and discussions on philosophy and religion, and I knew that he at least disagreed with my view on Christianity. We never held that against each other. Being able to talk about our differences with no judgement seemed to make our relationship much stronger. And yet, despite that, I think that he would have loved to just spend some time away from everyone and everything. He probably could have talked the Abbot's ear off about many different topics. 

I wore the bracelet to honor John, to remember John, and to pray for John as I often do. I hope that he has found peace.