Orthodox/Soldier

This is something I have been trying to articulate in my mind for quite some time. Perhaps if I type out my thoughts they will force themselves into some coherent, literate form. How does one reconcile being an Orthodox Christian and a Soldier?
More specifically, how does one reconcile being an Orthodox Christian and being a soldier in the army of a country that is engaged in endless wars?

When I joined the National Guard back in 2003, I wasn't looking to go to war - despite knowing that was a distinct possibility since we were in the middle of a conflict with Afghanistan and the invasion of Iraq had just kicked off a short time before I raised my right hand and took an oath to serve my country and defend its constitution against all threats foreign and domestic. 

 

No, I was looking to fulfill my civic duty. I was looking to serve my country to the best of my ability. I was looking to serve my community. 

I didn't care about getting medals - though the ones I do have I am fiercely proud to have earned. I wanted to learn discipline, I wanted to learn a skill set that would help me in life, I wanted money for college, but most importantly I wanted to serve my country.

I was young and dumb, and I didn't have the hindsight I have now to help me make decisions. That being said, if I could do it all over again I would still enlist - I just wouldn't make the same mistakes that I did in my military career. 

Now, way back when Christianity was a new religion, it used to be normal to be against soldiers and to be against the military. This was due to the fact that soldiers had to worship pagan deities, and they were often the ones killing Christians. But later on, when the Empire stopped persecuting Christianity and in fact had Christianity as the official religion, it was not uncommon to see Christians serving in the military - and indeed we have many soldier saints, many of whom were also martyrs. Here is a decent blog post on the matter of saints who were also soldiers.

The dilemma that I ran into was that I ultimately had to take orders from the President and the Governor - neither of whom I particularly agreed with politically, but I had taken an oath to do so. No, the dilemma was that I was serving leaders who seemed to openly defy the Constitution, and made more wars than they stopped.

No, there is nothing wrong with being an Orthodox Christian and serving in the military, especially when the intentions are pure. Or at least I thought so. The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.

I still don't think that there is anything wrong, per se, with wanting to serve one's country, but I do think that we have to be cognizant of who we are serving. Are we serving our country and keeping it safe from all threats? Or are we serving self-serving politicians who warmonger for profit?

 

One of the reasons that I signed up and joined the National Guard was 9/11. Granted, I did not join until 2003, and that horrible day was in 2001, but the desire to protect my country was there. I just didn't know that I would not actually be protecting my country.

 

I never went to Afghanistan. I never fought against the Taliban who was responsible for the attacks on our country. I never (thank God) even fired my weapon at another person - unfortunately, I have platoon mates who cannot say the same.

I did make it to Iceland

 

I went to Iraq, and then Kuwait. 

 

In Iraq, I "trained" Iraqi Police - whose members saw being in a "terrorist" group like being in a fraternity. It was not rare that one IP station would have members in one group, while another IP stations would have members in another group. It was also not rare for firefights to break out between two opposing groups. Both groups supposedly serving their communities. Both groups wearing the same uniform.

 

I put trained in quotations up there because we did very little (read none) training with the IPs. Instead we were trying to make sure that their stations could operate without us having to micromanage them.

 

Also, as a side note, the Navy Blueberry digital camo uniforms were a terrible idea, and looked entirely too much like the uniform worn by Iraqi Police.

Tell me that these

 

don't look the same

 In Iraq, on my second deployment, I was building and repairing communications rings on various bases. My squad was supposed to go to Afghanistan after we were done in Iraq, but we ended up staying in Kuwait because the Active Army guys needed our help to keep their projects on track. Apparently, us Nasty Girls knew what we were doing and got them from behind schedule to being ahead of schedule. So the Active Duty guys kept us, and sent some of their guys to Afghanistan.

I did get to play with guns, thanks to some great Brits!

So much cable. I think we laid around 25km of cable just at one base

 

Unfortunately, my second deployment happened during the so called "Arab Spring", when Daesh swept through the Middle East.

 

Can you guess what happened? I'll tell you.

 

Daesh came into Iraq, and they took over some of the bases I had worked on to repair and expand the communications ring. These bases we had turned over to the Iraqi government to use after we had left. Then, Daesh made their way into Baghdad, in the areas where I had "trained" IPs. Many of those IPs either threw down their weapons, or joined with Daesh.

 

How nice of Daesh to wait to invade Iraq after we left. 

 

So who was I protecting? It certainly was not Americans. It certainly was not Iraqis. It seems that I just paved the way for another invading force (funded by the previous invading force) to come in and take over. Where, in all of that was I actually defending my country from threats? Instead, I had made it easier for another country to be subjugated. I was protecting the interests of politicians, and not the American public.

 

And, even if I had made it to Afghanistan, I would still feel the same. Why? Because after 20 years of war in that country, we just left. We just picked up some of our people, left others, and left billions of dollars of equipment (that our tax dollars paid for - and we will never see a cent of that money given back to us). And the worst part is that we left to country to the people we had been fighting for 20 years.

 

So what the fuck was the point?

 

Over 6,000 service members have died in the Global War on Terror (Wikipedia - US Military Casualties of War). That number includes Afghanistan and Iraq combined. What did those men and women die for?

 

This is something that I have struggled with for a long time. How can I see my service in a good light?

Well, one of the other reasons that I joined the National Guard was to serve my community. When I got back home from AIT, as I have mentioned previously in other posts, I joined the Military Funeral Honors detail. We did not always do funerals, sometimes we did color guards for parades or school events.

Dickson, TN Veteran's Day Parade, 2006

Thank God it wasn't Mule Day

This part of my service is the part that I am most proud of. This part of my service I was honoring other people - especially those who had served with honor before me.

 

I never did get to help with disaster relief, or any of those other cool things you might see in the ads for the National Guard about serving your community. But, I did train some people who have helped out.

 

My mark on the Middle East is definitely tainted by those who want to play power games and make themselves rich by selling lies to young men and women.

 

My mark in my community, though has helped out. I helped families say goodbye to their loved ones in an honorable and respectful way. I helped my community by training those who could help in times of trouble. I may have even helped a stranded motorist or two. 

 

I never served for recognition. I don't ask to be honored or applauded for my service.  I served because I wanted to help my community and protect the citizens of this country. I might not have fought any foreign or domestic threats, but I did accomplish both of my goals.

 

So how do I tie this all back to being Orthodox?

 

In our Divine Liturgy we pray for our president (or monarch, or whatever you call the leader of your country), we pray for our civil leaders, and we pray for our armed forces The hope is that we will not have to go to war, but that the Lord will have mercy on us if we do. 

 

As noted above, we have saints who were soldiers. They are not glorified for their service to their country, but for their service to God.

 

The Church does not shun those of us who serve. If we have to kill, we are forgiven. The Church understands our desire to serve our community and protect it against enemies. And the Church definitely understands if our government is less than desirable to serve.

 

It is a terrible thing to feel guilt for your actions while serving your country. I feel guilt because I indirectly helped a country become even worse. I feel guilt because I made it possible for very bad people to come in behind me, raping and pillaging.

 

Once, while I was on patrol through a neighborhood, somewhere in Baghdad, I gave a little girl and ice cream popsicle. What happened to her? Was she spared all these years from the different groups who came through her part of town? God, I pray so.

 

These are the kind of doubts that I have. But the Church is there for me. And I really do mean that. I don't mean that the Church will be waving the American flag, and giving platitudes to us veterans. But the Church is actually there for me - to help me, to heal me, to forgive me, to help my salvation. 

 

That is how I can reconcile being an Orthodox Christian and serving in the military - especially with the government that we have. Because the Church is there for me - for us. Our government sucks, and they have gotten us into unjust wars - but the Church understands that earthly governments rarely do what is best for its citizens. The Church understand that the government will lie to us to get us to do its dirty work for it. The Church understands, and stands ready to receive us, no matter our faults.

 

Please pray for me, a sinner.