The Gentleman Working Class

It seems to me that gentlemen are hard to find these days. Or at least in anything outside of the wealthy upper-class. But I think we all have an idea of what a gentleman is, we can usually get a kind of mental image to what we think a gentleman looks like.

In Mere Christianity C.S. Lewis states that the term gentleman used to define a man who owned land and had a Coat of Arms, but that the term in its modern form has basically lost all definition since we call so many men "gentleman" even, or especially, men who don't own land or have a Coat of Arms. I disagree, even if I think that other words have been so over used as to have lost all meaning.

I think that with the word "gentleman" that the word now has a wider definition - much like many words today have slightly changed their initial meanings. This is a natural evolution of language.

To some, a gentleman is personified in men like the fictional James Bond and the actors who portrayed him (especially the late Sir Sean Connery). To others it is those advertisement men in the show Mad Men.

But to me, a gentleman is an idea of its own, not dependent necessarily on how one dresses, but how one conducts oneself.

A while ago, back when Google+ was still a thing, I wrote a post about how I had been made a moderator of a Tea lovers group. I extolled the many things that I love about tea, and pipe smoking as well.

I think some of those things that I talked about apply to my idea of what a gentleman is. Someone who has patience, takes their time. It is a bit more than that though.

There is a sense of pride to a gentleman, and not bad pride. A subtle, considerate pride. Pride in who he is and what he has done.

I think a lot of that pride is missing from your average man these days. Many men don't take pride in their appearance - dressing slovenly, not shaving properly - or maintaining their facial hair, they don't take pride in their work because their jobs are soul sucking and they don't get paid much for the work that they do.

Our society is inundated with negative examples of the male of our species. We're constantly told that we aren't good enough. We are told that we are evil and oppressive. We are told to stop hiding our emotions behind bravado and to express ourselves. And yet, when we do show our emotions, when we bring up how men are often unfairly represented in the media, when we bring up how we feel on any issues we are met with derision and ridiculed for fragile male ego and how some will drink our tears from coffee cups labeled as Male Tears.

There are companies that are trying to bring back old school masculinity, such as the Art of Manliness. And honestly, I love reading many of the articles on AoM.

Some of the articles I've read cover shaving with a safety or straight razor - which I looked up when I started shaving with either - how to tie a tie, how to wear a suit, camping, building a fire, etc. And while many of these may not be applicable to many men these days, they do show us that we men are not useless.

 

Speaking of straight razors, time to sharpen mine.

On to the point of clothing. It wasn't that long ago that men wore suits to their jobs - even men working in dirty environments wore a suit. It wasn't that long ago that men wore suits to walk around the neighborhood. And while getting a decent suit these days can be pretty cost prohibitive (I have one suit, I bought it from Men's Warehouse for around $200 after taxes) this doesn't mean that we can not take pride in our appearance!

I'll admit that even for me the first thing that pops into my head when I hear the term gentleman is an image of a well dressed man in a bespoke suit. Bespoke suits are nice! I wish that I had a whole bunch.

Pride in my appearance, even at home

If one is a little current on popular media these days they might be familiar with the Kingsmen movies. A lot of people would point to the agents of this secret service as the stereotypical gentlemen. However, one of the characters states in the movie (before getting into a barroom brawl) that manners maketh man. Without giving away any spoilers to those who haven't yet seen these movies - we later see people who we would have thought to be quintessential gentlemen not live up to that at all, and that those we wouldn't suspect of being gentlemen being the better examples of one.

I have to say that I readily agree that manners maketh man. I think that it is the manners that dictate what a gentleman is rather than what a man is wearing. But at the same time, I still think that we should try to dress better. 

A gentleman - whether he owns land, has a Coat of Arms, is bestowed some honor by a monarch or prelate, or if he works a 9-5 job at walmart and lives in a van down by the river - should be defined by how he treats others. 

I have a coat of arms, and I own land

It used to be that one knew their neighbors. Knowing your neighbors actually caused this thing called empathy, and you would end up caring about your neighbors and your neighborhood. Now, people hide from their neighbors, and the HOAs are more interested in maintaining or raising their property values with asinine rules than they actually care about their neighbors or the neighborhood. One could argue that they value the illusion of power over others more than they do the neighborhood.  I digress.

When people knew and cared for their neighbors they were much more willing to take care of those same neighbors. When they are willing to take care of those neighbors, they develop an empathy for them, they will act neighborly. They will come together and build a community.

We do not have to be landed gentry, we do not have to have fancy titles and land, we do not have to be wealthy. We do not need these things to be gentlemen.

We can afford to have manners. We can afford to be gentle, and yet firm. We can afford to be tactful in our speech. We can afford to be kind to those who have differing opinions to our own. 

It does not take money. It does not take fancy clothes. It does not take land. It does not take titles. It takes manners, common decency, and empathy. 

One can be a part of the working class and still be a gentleman. I dare say those of the working class are often more gentlemanly than the wealthy.

Is it manly to be able to swing an axe and split wood, to have rough hands from working a manual labor job all day, to know how to tell when the sun is going to set just by using your hands, to be able to kill a bear just by staring at it, to be rough and tumble, to smoke whisky and drink cigars? Sure, but it is also manly, and the mark of a true gentleman to know when to be... Gentle. When to be kind. When to be considerate.

We need not let society dictate what a man is, we need not break the bank buying fancy things, and instead just focus on being gentlemanly in our every day lives.

Please pray for me, a sinner.