Or lack thereof.
I don't have a relationship with my mother for various reasons. When I did have one we'd go through periods of good only for it to sour. I tried to be a good son, I'm not entirely sure that I succeeded. That said, I had to cut my mother out of my life for my mental health and the overall health of my family.
My relationship with my earthly mother has most likely impacted my relationship with my heavenly mother - the Mother of all Christians. Obviously, I'm talking about the Virgin Mary, the Theotokos.
Back when I was an Evangelical, low church type Protestant, I never worried about my relationship with the Mother of God. To us she was just another woman, an important woman to be sure. But I never would have thought to pray to her or to ask for her (or any other saint's) intercession.
I knew this would be a stumbling block for me when I became Orthodox, and it definitely is something that I have struggled with for over ten years now.
Now that I know who Mary is in the consideration of the Church, I long to have a relationship with her. The problem is that after so many years of shutting my own mother out that I don't know how to have a meaningful relationship with the Theotokos.
After things with my ex-wife, I'm not sure that I know how to have a meaningful relationship period.
It seems, though, that I cannot escape the Theotokos, not that I want to. She's everywhere in the Church life. The Ecclesiastic New Year is September first and a few days later on the 8th we celebrate the Nativity of the Theotokos. Later this month we celebrate the Presentation of the Theotokos or the Entry of the Theotokos into the Temple. Our Liturgical year ends with the Dormition of the Theotokos on the 15th of August. The monastery where I'm an Oblate is the Monastery of Our Lady of Glastonbury and Saint Laurence (Our Lady being the Theotokos) - also known as Ladyminster.
And of course there are all of the Marian prayers that the Church uses.
I wrote a blog post about the earliest prayer to the Theotokos, the manuscript being dated around AD 250 or thereabouts. Naturally the prayer itself is older, which we can deduce given the oral tradition of the Church.
I also wrote about the Rule of the Theotokos a few months back. This Rule is supposedly an ancient rule that was lost to time only to be revealed again in the 19th century.
I've been trying to pray that Rule as of late. I'm still terrible at praying the Rosary, but then again, I'm terrible at doing my daily prayers.
I want to grow my relationship with Mary. I want to have the relationship with the Mother of God that I never had with my own mother. So I'm doing what I would do in any other instance of trying to grow a relationship - I'm talking to her more often.
I don't know if I'll ever have the relationship that I want with the Theotokos, but I also don't know if I'll ever have the relationship with God that I want.
I won't give up, though. I'll keep striving to improve my spiritual life and my relationships - both terrestrial and celestial.
I don't have a relationship with my mother for various reasons. When I did have one we'd go through periods of good only for it to sour. I tried to be a good son, I'm not entirely sure that I succeeded. That said, I had to cut my mother out of my life for my mental health and the overall health of my family.
My relationship with my earthly mother has most likely impacted my relationship with my heavenly mother - the Mother of all Christians. Obviously, I'm talking about the Virgin Mary, the Theotokos.
Back when I was an Evangelical, low church type Protestant, I never worried about my relationship with the Mother of God. To us she was just another woman, an important woman to be sure. But I never would have thought to pray to her or to ask for her (or any other saint's) intercession.
I knew this would be a stumbling block for me when I became Orthodox, and it definitely is something that I have struggled with for over ten years now.
Now that I know who Mary is in the consideration of the Church, I long to have a relationship with her. The problem is that after so many years of shutting my own mother out that I don't know how to have a meaningful relationship with the Theotokos.
After things with my ex-wife, I'm not sure that I know how to have a meaningful relationship period.
It seems, though, that I cannot escape the Theotokos, not that I want to. She's everywhere in the Church life. The Ecclesiastic New Year is September first and a few days later on the 8th we celebrate the Nativity of the Theotokos. Later this month we celebrate the Presentation of the Theotokos or the Entry of the Theotokos into the Temple. Our Liturgical year ends with the Dormition of the Theotokos on the 15th of August. The monastery where I'm an Oblate is the Monastery of Our Lady of Glastonbury and Saint Laurence (Our Lady being the Theotokos) - also known as Ladyminster.
And of course there are all of the Marian prayers that the Church uses.
I wrote a blog post about the earliest prayer to the Theotokos, the manuscript being dated around AD 250 or thereabouts. Naturally the prayer itself is older, which we can deduce given the oral tradition of the Church.
I also wrote about the Rule of the Theotokos a few months back. This Rule is supposedly an ancient rule that was lost to time only to be revealed again in the 19th century.
I've been trying to pray that Rule as of late. I'm still terrible at praying the Rosary, but then again, I'm terrible at doing my daily prayers.
I want to grow my relationship with Mary. I want to have the relationship with the Mother of God that I never had with my own mother. So I'm doing what I would do in any other instance of trying to grow a relationship - I'm talking to her more often.
I don't know if I'll ever have the relationship that I want with the Theotokos, but I also don't know if I'll ever have the relationship with God that I want.
I won't give up, though. I'll keep striving to improve my spiritual life and my relationships - both terrestrial and celestial.
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